


Not Yet

by billspilledquill



Category: Naruto
Genre: Friendship, Implied CPTSD, Love, M/M, Microfic, Missing Scene
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2020-06-21
Updated: 2020-06-21
Packaged: 2021-03-04 00:21:46
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 869
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/24834526
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/billspilledquill/pseuds/billspilledquill
Summary: It seemed that Sasuke still upheld some misunderstanding over some minor incident that occurred in their childhood.“You mean that accident when some jackass pushed me and I fell against you, resulting to—that?” Naruto asked, loudly slurping his ramen. “Thataccident?”
Relationships: Uchiha Sasuke/Uzumaki Naruto
Comments: 4
Kudos: 107





	Not Yet

**Author's Note:**

> It’s been 84 years....

_I was not yet in love, yet I loved to love... I sought what I might love, in love with loving._

_— Confessions of St. Augustine._

“You mean that accident when some jackass pushed me and I fell against you, resulting to— _that_?” Naruto asked, loudly slurping his ramen. “ _That_ accident?”

Sasuke dipped his chopsticks in the bowl. “Right,” Sasuke said, “that was the one I was talking about.”

“Sakura-chan was _ruthless_.” Naruto shivered as he said, “you were too busy being moody to see my suffering. You had quite a fanbase, bastard.”

Ichiraku was empty, where shadows seeped through the short curtains. Sasuke hadn’t missed this place, but when the light had gleamed against the table, warmth fell all over.

“I wasn’t aware of a bystander being the cause of our— incident,” said Sasuke.

Naruto swiped the dangling piece of noodle on his mouth with the back of his hand. He stared. “What’d you mean?”

The noodle peeked its head in the soup; the narutos swirled with the current as Sasuke stirred. “I didn’t know it was an accident,” said Sasuke.

Naruto gasped. “You mean—”

“I thought it was an infatuation,” Sasuke drawled carefully. “It was odd, but I had other things to worry about. I have come to accept it as years went on.”

Naruto laughed, frowning a little. “It must be weird.”

“I got used to it,” Sasuke said.

“Romance’s not your thing,” Naruto proclaimed.

“No,” he said, remembering. “It isn’t.”

Naruto swung an arm around his shoulder, his smile turning rueful when Sasuke flinched. “Sorry,” Naruto said. “I know we just talked about this— _thing_ I have on you or whatever— but— don’t give it another thought, okay? We are good. You are my best friend— nothing to worry about. You’re here. _I_ can’t believe it. It seems like I would chase after you forever. You were always walking in front of me.”

“I tried to kill you,” he said.

“There aren’t any scar on me to prove it,” Naruto said, a little proud and a little wistful. 

Sasuke knew there was; right on the middle of his arm, there was the irreparable tissue, the memory of a severed limb. And Sasuke felt it too; a need of some kind, the phantom pursuit of another half. They had broken everything; repaired nothing— they had made each other and unmade themselves to fit each other— it was never about scars; it was not about limbs.

Last time, Naruto collided against him in a classroom full of children; last time, he begged him to come home, and there was a life in between that Sasuke had missed and willfully forgotten.

Naruto looked at him and his untouched ramen. “Let’s head out,” he said, standing up. “It’s getting late.”

Ichikaru was devoid of costumers. Only the steady sound of steams coming through the kitchen; Teuchi-san told them to clean their tables on their way out and cheered his goodbye.

The night continued fruitlessly beyond; the streets were dark, littered with golden lights. Naruto breathed, and from the dark, he can see the frost.

“It’s cold,” Naruto commented with his arms wound around him.

“I am not in love with you,” Sasuke said. When Naruto frowned, he offered, “you seemed worried about that earlier.”

The steps quietened. “I don’t want that,” Naruto said, his head turning to the dark.

“You were ready to die with me,” he said.

“I am willing to do everything for my friends, and you are special, I guess,” Naruto said, clutching his clothes tighter. It seemed that a storm was coming. “But when I try to think— whatever I feel; _how_ I should feel—it hurts my head. I can’t think. I can’t think about this without remembering things that I don’t want to remember.”

“Pain,” Sasuke stated easily. “You don’t want to relive pain.”

Naruto smiled. “You would know, wouldn’t you?” he said. “Sometimes— I think this is what it feels like to have a brother, but then I remembered that we kinda _are_ , y’know, in a past life or whatever—and then I realised that we are better than them. We are better than the whole bunch of them put together, brothers or not.”

“We are friends,” Sasuke said.

“The one and only,” Naruto said, laughing warmly. Snow had started to fall, but melted before they reached the ground.

Sasuke moved his hand. It barely caught a snowflake when the wind swept through. “I love you,” Sasuke said, watching his breath turned white and cold at every word.

They were in front of Naruto’s house, meek and a tiny little thing; he thought. It had a whole life in that, soft and shimmering, then disappearing swiftly against the wind, chasing for a world that already belonged to it.

Last time, the classroom was bright, filled with colours; the future was ahead. Last time, Naruto fought him and relived pain over and over until they can’t remember. Their lives were ahead of them, and for the first time, Sasuke believed it. 

Naruto grinned. “The same,” he said. Later, their voices carried, one stumbling after another, almost in a fight, to where both of them overlapped. The smell of miso lingered; Sasuke let it linger. 


End file.
